Haiti

So my heart breaks often when i am stuck watching the news. It's just a depressing thing to do in general. But on nights such as this one it brought me to my knees. A hurricane is heading straight for haiti. The poor country already has more than 1.5 million homeless people trying to cope after that horrible earthquake. My heart longs to help these poor people. All i can do is fall on my face before the Almighty God and pray that He becomes the shelter for those people. :'-(

Passion

When i talk about God i feel this burning excitement in me that flows up from my toes into my heart and out my mouth. It's like an explosion of thoughts, words, ideas and pictures that all have to do with God and His awesomeness. However i think that i scare some people when this happens. The intensity through which i speak is too much for people to handle. Yet I'm not sure how to release the build up of this passion in a people friendly way. It's like water building up behind a dam and when the pressure gets too much and i release it, it blows people off balance and not in a good way.I long to be on fire for God yet the more and more on fire i become the more the dam of passion fills and i long to release it and speak all that i am learning yet when the opportunity rises and i am able to finally be free to speak about God people's body language isn't that encouraging... Maybe if there was a way to be on fire for God and not scare people away i should figure it out... and fast.

Perhaps it's due to the stifeling environment that i live in that causes me to have to bottle up my passion. My parents are not excepting of the true Jesus. They are so against the idea that God is bigger than what they think they know. It causes strife in my family for me to believe in such a different way than they do, that i try to avoid talking about God in such a way that is offensive to them. If God is brought up at all i am very careful to keep the peace and not say anything too radical. Which is hard for me to do considering they don't even believe that Jesus is God. I don't quite know where the balance between keeping the peace in my house and saying the Truth is. Mostly because if i said what i truely believed they wouldn't listen and tell me i'm wrong. I've tried to express myself but they won't listen their hearts are hardened toward anything different from what they believe. I struggle though with the idea that Jesus didn't care at all about keeping the peace, with his parables and his speeches he created so much animosity, especially among the religious leaders, that they killed Him for what he was claiming. Yet i'm not sure what the loving thing to do is in regards to my  family. I guess i need to keep trusting the Lord that he will soften their hearts towards his truth.

Galations 1:10- Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Welcome :-)

So ever since I've become a follower of Christ there has been one gift that God has bestowed on me that i have been terrified of using. Writing for me has always been an immensely powerful tool that I'd engage in order to cope with horrible circumstances. Once i found Christ i no longer knew how to use my gift of writing. It terrified me because of how dark and disturbing my writings were. I was and still am scared that it is still in me to produce such things. I long to learn how to glorify my God and Savior through my writings that i may be able to encourage and edify the body of Christ. So in order to begin this foray into my gifting, I've decided to blog through everything that is going on in my life as i struggle to become Christ like and bring light into my family's home. It is my prayer that through these blogs someone might be able to be encouraged from and relate to my struggles.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Ephesians 4:29